Stories

I went to an actual yoga class this evening – with an actual teacher and yoga blankets and bolsters and ALL of the good yoga “stuff.” I cannot even believe how much flexibility I’ve lost – not to mention any memory of where all my “parts” are supposed to go in the poses. But it felt good. REALLY good. Like something I want to sink into again – only maybe not with the single-minded obsession I had before.

I’m not sure what’s brought it on, but I feel a sort of clarity lately that I haven’t felt in quite awhile. I think that’s part of what brought me back to a yoga mat after 2 stubborn years away. It’s also somehow got me stepping cautiously back on the health wagon – cooking/eating good foods, walking, drinking lots of water. I’ve started and failed such endeavors before, but this time it’s feeling mildly sustainable.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m posting this without a photo. This is a VERY big thing for me – I’m not entirely sure I’ve ever posted without a photo, but I’ve been examining my “stories” lately. You know those ones we tell ourselves over and over until we believe them so completely we don’t even consider challenging them? One of my stories is that I MUST NOT blog without photos – another was that I’m too fat & out of practice to go to yoga.

Suddenly these stories seem to desperately need challenging.

Health and Keeping

You may have noticed the lack of “This Week’s Healthy” around here… mostly it’s been sort of not-so-healthy for the last several weeks and, rather than fess up, I’ve just been avoiding the subject… buuuuut, I’m slowly starting to get back in the groove.  Last weekend, I found a new trail system close to home – 1 mile of paved trail and about 3 miles of off-road biking trails.  Lots of yummy shade and a sweet little pond, where I bet a dragonfly or two might hang out – definitely warrants further investigation.  We’ve also been eating a little healthier – I cooked almost every night last week (yay me), which netted Hubby offering to do the dishes!  Can’t beat that for incentive!!

Hubby and I continue to move forward with our remodeling projects and, this past week, we ordered new carpet!  I’m so excited, but SO not loving the preparation process.  We basically have to clear the carpeted areas – not the furniture itself, but we have to empty all the drawers and shelves.  Plus, because Hubby and I both have trips planned (I’m leaving for Canada next Thursday!!!) and will be gone the better part of the time between now and our install on the 19th, we have to prep before we leave, which means every non-carpeted spot in the house looks a little like this (or will soon)…

I am not stressing though (can you believe it?).  I’m feeling sort of zen about it – looking at it as chance to start fresh,  finish the cleaning I started after the tile project, and do a little bit of redecorating.  The carpet designer suggested we paint our entryway a darker shade of yellow (living room is a light margarine-color – you can see a little of it above) so I chose a Brach’s butterscotch color and I absolutely LOVE it.  I’ve also ordered this cabinet and am planning to finish it off with a scattered arrangement of framed art above it and around it.  Hey, maybe you can help me decide what sort of art to use?!  I’m struggling between…

• primitive and whimsical
• photography
• vintage paintings
• or nature-inspired

Happy Friday!!

This Week’s Not-So-Healthy – Mar 3

This photo doesn’t really have much to do with my health goals, but I had to share – it’s my Remains of the Day cover and I’m sooooo happy with it!  I ended up using only things I had on hand… pieces of an old white beadspread, blue chenille and leopard print (from some tired old throw pillows), an apron that proved too thin for my uses and a couple of pieces from my fat quarters stash.  The roses for the wrap are Bloomers from Webster’s pages (I have a basket full in all different colors because I love them so much).

This wasn’t the best health week – I’d tried, based on some ulcerative colitis literature I found, adding a probiotic to my vitamin regimen.  Apparently they did not agree with me because I just felt off all week – tired, achy, craving comfort foods – pizza one night, lasagna another, minimal fruits/veggies, pop, and not a single walk all week.  Between the new probiotic and the poor food choices, it all culminated in knocking me completely on my rear yesterday and I ended up taking the afternoon off and vegetating in front of the television all day.  I would call this week a complete wash, except that I at least stuck with using my 9″ plates.  So even though I wasn’t eating the best foods, I was still controlling portions and I managed to lose another pound.

Today I’m back to the drawing board.  I know I do best when I watch what I eat – saying NO to carbs, dairy, sugar and white flour and YES to lean meats, veggies, fruits and whole grains.  Sounds yummy as I type it – it’s the putting it into practice that’s hard.

This Week’s Healthy – Feb 25

I have a little scratch on my ankle where Tucker used me as a launch pad a couple of nights ago – he was making a hasty escape from an ENORMOUS clap of thunder that even woke Hubby up (and nothing wakes that man up).  Later in the morning, with the rain still forming small lakes around our neighborhood, I looked out and noticed the sun shining.  I remember someone telling me once that sunshine through rain meant the rain would linger.  Today, is gray and cold – winter again after days of spring.  I’m craving open windows and flipflops, but settling for thick socks and sweaters.  Thankfully the rain stopped, at least for now; otherwise we’d be up to our eyeballs in snow again!

This week’s healthy was much of the same – water vs. soda (for the most part), vitamins, walked 8 miles – including a walk to my favorite sandwich shop for lunch yesterday.  I indulged in a carb-fest last night (spaghetti and bread), but was able to resist the Oreos Hubby convinced me to bring home from the grocery store , so all-in-all I call it a success.  Plus I lost another pound – which I consider incidental in this journey, but I’ll certainly take it!

 

This Week’s Healthy – Feb 18

Valentine’s week is not the easiest week to be healthy!  I succumbed to chocolate cake (OH MY was it ever delicious!).  Plus, Hubby took me out to dinner Wednesday night and I indulged a little (though I did share some of my Steak Diane with Hubby).  Happily, the rest of the week went pretty well – definitely noticing some bagginess in my blue jeans…

• Tried a new (to us) restaurant with Meg last Saturday and chose a fantastic veggie lasagna – yum!!
• Walked 10.5 miles – half a mile was at a strip mall near my house; I parked at one end and walked to my other destinations (almost to the other end) and back as part of the “exercise without exercise” idea I talked about last week.
• Drank about 4 gallons of water.
• Took my vitamins and flossed twice every day (I’ve tended to be a little lazy in the flossing department, so thought the success was worth noting).
• Also got released from the Periodontist this week!!  He even thanked me for the “remarkable healing job I’d done.”

One thing I’m learning is that this path is all about choices.  My goal is to be aware of the choices available to me and avoid making the not-so-great ones by default.  When I do occasionally choose the chocolate cake, I want it to be with intention, with the full knowledge that I’ve considered the options and elected to eat that piece of cake with gusto!  The trick is letting go of regret – making a not-so-great choice doesn’t make me “bad” or ruin the whole journey.  I may have a little work to do yet on that last bit.

This Week’s Healthy – Feb 11

The snow has wreaked havoc on my exercise plans this week, but I’m inspired by something I discovered in a class I’m taking with Joy Tanksley to really think about how I can exercise in ways that don’t really seem like exercise…

• Danced around the art studio for five minutes, shoveled the front sidewalk, walked 4 miles (1 inside, 3 out), and parked farther from the entrance when shopping
• Drank a total of around 4 gallons of water
• Took my vitamins every day
• Made a healthier choice when we did takeout (flatbread sammie and soup, instead of a sub and chips)

I didn’t lose anything this week, but didn’t gain either and I continued to stick with my “one thing healthy” goal, so I count the week a success.  Please comment or email me if you have any other ideas for me on the non-exercise front.

***

I had sushi for lunch one day last week and received the fortune above.  This doesn’t really have much to do with health, but as someone who works in a male-dominated industry, I found it sort of priceless.  And oddly suggestive of a cultural shift I’ve been noticing lately – from ego and power based (masculine) to something a bit more intuitive and compassionate (feminine).  It seems like every day something comes through my email or one of the many blogs I read that suggests a shift towards authenticity, self-expression, intuitive living, and compassion for one another – all things that feel decidedly feminine to me.  It could be a factor of the media I express interest in, but I really think it’s bigger than that – sort of an overall gentling towards each other and within ourselves.  I know that gentling has been a big part of my health shift this year.

This Week’s Healthy – Feb 4

Not the best week on the health front, but I’m giving myself credit for sticking to my original intention which was simply to “choose one thing healthy every day”…

• Walked 3 miles (1 inside, 2 outside at the nature park last weekend before the storm rolled in)
• Drank a total of around 3 gallons of water
• Took my vitamins every day
• Abstained from chips and sopapillas when Hubby went for Mexican Wednesday night; plus I had spinach enchiladas – spinach cancels out all that cheese and creamy sauce, right??

I’ve learned that it’s much easier to motivate myself for a walk when I can get outside – what I wouldn’t give right now for some snow shoes!  The roads are passable as long as I stay away from the other drivers (who have mostly lost their minds!!) and I did get out of the house for a little bit yesterday evening – had my decaf soy skinny vanilla latte, so all is right with the world again!

Listened to a fantastic interview with Joy Tanksley on intuitive eating that has me rethinking my plan a little.  I know I still need to curtail some things (sugar, processed foods) – not just for weight loss, but for taking care of my heart and digestive system – but Joy has me really thinking about weighing my food choices against what really feels right to me.  I’ll let you know how this develops!

This Week’s Healthy – Jan 28

Nothing much new to report on the health front this week, but lost another pound and mostly stuck to my goals…

• Walked a total of 10 miles – all outside.  The weather this week has been simply amazing - it was 76 yesterday!!!
• Drank a total of around 4 gallons of water – fell back into some old caffeine habits yesterday, so need to get back on track here.
• Took my vitamins every day.
• Have mostly stuck to my nutritional goals, but took a vacation day Friday and let my plans slip pretty badly – I skipped breakfast to start with, then ended up having sushi for lunch (the extra spicy, sauce covered, deep fried kind).  The lesson is that I have to be more careful when my routine shifts to stick with my basics – EAT BREAKFAST even if I’m in a hurry to get to the fun and grab a bottled water before I leave the house so I don’t get thirsty and start dreaming of caffeinated Big Gulps.

Collaborations

“Gardens are the result of a collaboration between art and nature.”
~Penelope Hobhouse

I’ve been buying a lot of fresh herbs since I started Sonoma and thought it might be fun to add some to my growing plant collection – this is oregano and sage.

I also planted basil, but he came from one of those Living Herbs packages you find at the grocery store.  I always feel a little murderous when I chop the heads off those little root balls and throw the rest away, so thought I’d see if I could plant one.  Right now, Mr. Basil looks a little tired, so keep your fingers crossed!

This Week’s Healthy – Jan 21

Soooo happy to report that I’m still on track with my health goals!!

• Walked a total of 11 miles (mostly outside)
• Drank a total of around 5 gallons of water – not sure I can express how huge this is for me!  I’ve never been a big fan of plain old water, but it’s starting to feel like a more natural choice for me
• Took my vitamins every day
• Went the periodontist – this was zero fun, but necessary to repair some pretty severe recession.  The good news is that I went to my acupuncturist right after and he gave me an ayurvedic remedy for recession… sesame oil!  I’ll admit to being a little skeptical, but it’s a simple matter of massaging the oil into my gums after I brush my teeth so I can’t see where it would hurt (though I do have to wait until my gum graft heals)
• Stuck to my nutritional goals

Since I’ve completed almost a month on this new nutritional journey, I have to share the details with you…  I’m following the Sonoma Diet.  My acupuncturist has been telling me for months that I need to eat more greens and limit sugar and white flour but I had trouble acting on that advice.  I was just too tired to try to prepare healthy foods every night (choosing, chopping, cooking, cleanup) so turned to fast or processed food.  I’ve come to realize that’s a self-perpetuating cycle – those “junk” foods rob your energy and increase your cravings for sugar and MORE junk food.

Sonoma is basically a take on a Mediterranean diet/lifestyle – lean proteins, green vegetables, good fats (like olive oil), and limited carbs (fruits and whole grains are okay; bleached/processed grains are off limits).  One of its biggest principles is portion control and it recommends using a smaller (9 inch) plate to help with that – this has been an amazing tool for me!  I also worried at the beginning about all the chopping and prep required, but have found my energy increasing significantly and I’m actually enjoying the food prep (and LOVING the recipes)!  Another surprising bonus has been how easily I’m able to turn away sugary treats that I couldn’t live without before (like lattes).  And I’m losing weight.

So, I’ll be honest, I feel a little guilty talking about weight loss.  There are a whole lot of people in the blogosphere and beyond encouraging us to give up skinny ideals and love our bodies just as they are.  I’m still very much behind that movement, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want a smaller pant size.  I want to tell you this is only about my health, but while health is truly important to me, it’s also about how I feel in a dressing room trying to get into a pair of jeans (or whether I’ll ever wear said jeans again once I get them home, especially if they’re particularly sexy jeans, like the ones I bought in New Hampshire last fall – those sexy jeans that I’ve never worn again), or how I feel after climbing a steep hill (oxygen, please?), or even how I feel about continuing down this healthful path day after day.  Seeing ounces and pounds drop off when I weigh myself once a week is HUGE incentive… so is having my clothes fit better, or being able to FIND clothes I like that fit, or having the energy to take a walk at lunch or spend the extra time needed to shop for and prepare a healthy meal.  I don’t want (or expect) to be a super model, but I do want to love my healthy self and, for me, that means a few pounds have to come off.  This whole thing doesn’t feel like deprivation or mind control – it feels like something loving I’m doing for myself to stay alive.  I’m going to try to honor that and love myself all the way to a fit and healthy version of me.